As a parent, you want to do all you can to ensure that your child grows up healthy and is given all he or she needs to aid the mind and body. For most babies, this includes breastfeeding. You probably already know that breastmilk is full of nutrients and offers a good start to a baby's life. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for at least one year. But what if you or your baby don’t want to or can’t breastfeed for that long?

According to Gale Prachniak, a lactation consultant at the Women's and Infants Hospital in Rhode Island, "In general, any breastfeeding is a benefit. If the mother can do it for even a short period of time, whatever she can manage, it is going to benefit the baby. Any amount of time a baby is breastfed is never time wasted."

However, making the transition from breast to bottle for a baby younger than one year can often be a delicate matter, for both baby and mother. Mothers may often feel guilt, remorse or loss by weaning their baby before the age of one year. "This is a very private and individualized experience," says Prachniak. "A mother needs to understand that some of the feelings are very normal. It's not because she has done something wrong that she is feeling this way. She is moving from one phase to another and it is an adjustment. All changes take time."

Baby-Led Weaning
"I was not in control of the [weaning] transition and while it was easy enough for her, it was somewhat difficult for me," says Sarita Douglas, an attorney from Salt Lake City, Utah. "At the age of 7 months, my daughter discovered that she was free to look around with a bottle and she began to show irritation with breastfeeding, and quickly refused the breast altogether. I was not prepared for this sudden end to such an intimate bond. I'm sure that there was a hormonal imbalance that exacerbated my emotional response. I was devastated -- crying at the drop of a hat."

It is not uncommon for weaning before the age of one year to happen naturally, without planning. Events in everyday life, work or family can often lead to the weaning process happening on its own. "The age of 9 months is a common time for mothers to stop nursing," says Prachniak. "Babies seem to get so busy with all the other things they're doing that the mother might find that an easy time to pull back and nurse less. Some babies will go for that, some will not. Once they are mobile, or once they realize there are siblings there, they might be entertained by them.

"There is a situation we call 'holiday weaning.' A mother will get so involved with a particular holiday she is feeding less often or for shorter periods of time and at the end of the holiday, the baby is weaned. Often times holiday weaning can make the mother very sad because it wasn't her intention. But it happens, it's natural."

Kathy Richard, a mother of three and part-time freelance writer from the Boston area says, "When my middle boy was 9 months old, he grew bored with breastfeeding. His temperament was, and still is, that of a boy who likes to be on the go, mentally and physically. I would sit him down to nurse and he would not latch on because there were too many other things to look besides my face, which he saw for nine months of nursing. I would have liked to have nursed him for at least a year like my other two did, but every child is an individual and sometimes you have to take their lead."

Gradually, and With Love
Weaning a baby, regardless of the reason why, should be done gradually to minimize the physical and emotional stress for both baby and mother. La Leche League recommends weaning be done "gradually, and with love."

"Weaning gradually is usually the most comfortable situation for both mother and baby," says Prachniak.

One method of gradual weaning is eliminating one daily feeding at a time, creating a new schedule for both mother and baby. An alternative activity can be offered in place of the feeding, such as a story, play time or a walk. Once it is determined that the child has accepted this new schedule, another daily feeding can be eliminated. This process continues until the child is weaned from the breast.

Keeping the Quality Time
Babies who are breastfed become accustomed to the one-on-one attention that they receive from their mothers. Weaning from the breast does not mean an end to this quality time. "Children really do flower and grow best when they get individualized attention," says Prachniak. "Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to start, as it demands that you give that to baby. Just the act of sitting down to breastfeed increases the child's sense of self-esteem because it is telling them at every feeding how important they are."

"You can continue to do that sort of thing in a number of ways," explains Prachniak. "Reading a book, taking a walk or even just eating lunch together can offer the same one-on-one time the child wants and needs while still weaning him/her from the breast. Regardless of what the activity is, substituting the personalized attention with a different variation of the one-on-one attention is an important factor."

Deciding when to wean is a personal decision that should be made by you, taking your baby’s individual needs into consideration. The appropriate age to wean is often the topic of hotly contested debate, and you may be subject to criticism weather you wean your child as an infant or as a preschooler.

Prachniak’s advice: "Go with what you feel."