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Breastfeeding's Imprint on Bonding:One Mother's Story
By Laura J. Hible
When I first became a mother, I assumed I would be fair and treat all my children the same. I soon learned that such an approach overlooks their circumstances and temperaments. Children enter our lives at varying stages of our parenting. The changing parents these children encounter have a marked effect on their development. As a second-time mom, I learned that some of my decisions would change with each child.
Specific conditions influenced my decision to breastfeed one child but not the other. I did not breastfeed Michael, our oldest son. Because of my epilepsy, I had already exposed him to medication during my pregnancy. My obstetrician emphasized that my seizure-controlling medication might adversely affect the baby through breastmilk. Anxious not to introduce additional risks, I never questioned the doctor's advice.
During my second pregnancy, my birth class instructor and midwife urged me to seek more information on breastfeeding. I obtained literature concluding that a medication's concentration in breastmilk proved less substantial than a fetus' primary exposure to it. The data cited drowsiness and poor sucking response as possible side effects for my medication. Later, I had to laugh. Our second baby, Sean, refused to nap, and he nursed for a steady four years.
Until nursing Sean, I never recognized that Michael and I had missed out on an essential physical bond. Initially, I attributed his independent spirit as a toddler to personality alone. He squirmed countless times from my grasp, his hugs quick and to the point. Though his lack of enthusiasm for cuddling disappointed me, I had no comparison. Michael became attached to his blanket and thumb. Rather than asking for comfort from me, he preferred at times to curl up on the couch, his thumb in his mouth, his blanket twirled around his finger. He had discovered a way of recovering from the excitement of school each day that asked little of anyone else.
